Dogs and Men

How Dogs and Men are the Same

Both take up too much space on the bed.
Both have irrational fears about vacuuming.
Both are threatened by their own kind.
Both mark their territory.
Both are bad at asking you questions.
Neither tells you what's bothering them.
The smaller ones tend to be more nervous.
Both fart shamelessly
Both have a fascination with women's crotches.
Neither of them notice when you get your hair cut.
Both like dominance games.
Both are suspicious of the mailman.
Neither knows how to talk on the telephone.
Neither understands what you see in cats.

How Dogs are Better than Men

Dogs do not have problems expressing affection in public.
Dogs miss you when you're gone.
Dogs feel guilt when they've done something wrong.
Dogs admit when they are jealous.
Dogs are very direct about wanting to go out..
Dogs don't feel threatened by your intelligence.
The worst social disease you can get from dogs is fleas (OK, the really worst you can get from this is rabies, but there's a vaccine for it, and you get to kill the one that gives it to you).
Dogs understand what NO means.
Dogs understand if some of their friends cannot come inside .
Middle-aged dogs don't feel the need to abandon you for a younger owners.
Dogs admit when they are lost.
Dogs are color blind.
Dogs aren't threatened if you earn more than they do.
Dogs mean it when they kiss you.

Where Dogs Fall down

Men only have two feet that track in mud .
Men can buy you presents.
Men don't have to play with every man they see when you take them around the block.
Men are a little more subtle.
Men don't eat turds on the sly.
Dogs have dog breath all the time.
Men can do math stuff.
Men don't shed as much, and if they do, they hide it.
It's fun to dry off a wet man.

Bye for now.